Forgiveness is about letting go – letting go of your energy you have invested in a situation or experience. It is not about the other person (although it can sometimes appear so). It is about unhooking your energy – unhooking YOU. It is about ceasing the drain of energy that is leaving your body and flowing directly to the old experience (aka person).
One way to be able to unhook, release judgement and make peace with a situation is to find a ‘gift’ in it. Find some positive aspect to it. Granted, there are many experiences in life which would appear to have no physical gift to a person – and these sorts of experiences include mental, physical and sexual abuse, loss of a child or loved one unexpectedly. But there does come a time when you can find a gift on another level – maybe a spiritual gift, a new way of being? It requires you to own the experience and rise above it.
The sorts of questions you could ask yourself in order to find the positive aspect are:
- What do I need to know or learn (about myself)?
- What was the positive in this situation?
- How did this experience/person help me to become aware of my spiritual nature/soul?
- How did this experience lead (or push) me in a particular direction that has benefitted my soul growth (my growth)?
It requires you to come from the space of … there is no right or wrong, only what is.
It will probably require you to give up the idea that it should have been any different to what it was. But you will instantly retrieve your energy and no longer be a victim to life and life’s experiences. It is an act of energy retrieval and it is true empowerment.
You know when you have unhooked because you won’t have any emotion tied up in the event (person). It will cease to trigger an emotional response or reaction in you – including and especially judgement – (and that does NOT mean you become unemotional or numb, that is the other extreme). It will cease to ‘affect’ you. If you think you have forgiven and you can still have a reaction then it is condonement and that has its basis in judgement.
Forgiveness is also a process. It requires you first to feel the pain. If this stage is aborted you could become unemotional, detached, numb – or you could appear to get on by masking and suppressing and seem ‘jolly’ to others around you. Both ways are destructive and will render you unhealthy. The pain will locate in your body and change form and re-appear as an illness or disease. The pain must be felt fully first before you can rise above it.
And that includes anger. While it is not appropriate that we hurt another person or ourself it is import to acknowledge the anger – and this may include some anger-releasing in a non-harmful way. If you do not acknowledge the anger you may keep dropping down to a feeling of depression, grief, hatred etc and you will stay trapped in that cycle. It is important to move out of it and keep finding a positive aspect to lift you higher and higher vibrationally.
Never underestimate the value of forgiveness – it goes hand-in-hand with non-judgement and unconditional love. It is unconditional gratitude. It will free you and it will free up the group consciousness or mass consciousness. It is the most powerful act you could do on this planet. It will negate negative energy and render it useless.
Article featured in Connect Magazine April 2011
Please share your thoughts and experiences…
